man....

I don't think I blogged that on Saturday night I had another dream about the bean. I was at the hospital and had fallen asleep. When I woke up I asked the nurse to check me because I felt like maybe it was time. She replied with, didn't Jeremy tell you? I said no, tell me what...I'm calling him right now, and he's coming, he's bringing my laptop, what does he need to tell me. She said you already had the baby. WHAT? I did. No way. So the dr came in and I yelled and yelled. I was so upset that I didn't even know that I had just had my baby and they allowed me to sleep through it. I told the dr, I have documented this entire pregnancy from beginning to end and here I am, void of the understanding that I just had my baby. I have nothing to blog about. He just stared at me. I called Jeremy, he told me yes you had the baby and it's a boy. I was devasted that I missed the birth of my baby. When I asked to see him, he said they had him with them and were showing him off to people and they would be back later.
Now, how stinkin' crazy is that?!?
However, another dream for team blue ;)

I had to get this out before I forgot it, as a matter of fact at 3am I almost measled my way here to do just that...I fought the urge.
I dreamed about the baby again. The thing is, is that I don't dream about bringing the baby at home and all the fun stuff to come, I dream about HAVING the baby, it weighs heavily on my mind! Last night's dream included me and Jeremy at the hospital. He was passed out asleep and I was just laying there in the bed. It was about 11pm and Dr. K came in to preform a c-section. He was all by himself. He had no staff and performed it right in the room. I was questioning the c-section and he said, well, you can lay here and labor for hours or in 20 minutes I can have this baby out, which do you want? I was drugged up and not thinking and didn't say anything at all. I was dumbfounded. He performed the c-section and left. I never saw the baby. It was around 5am and I still hadn't seen the baby and no nurses had come in. My friend, who works at the hospital, came in and I started crying. I was afraid. I explained to her that I had a c-section, and I still hadn't seen my baby or any nurses. Then a man came in to 'clean me out' and deliver my placenta. I started crying and told him I didn't know what I was doing, and he said not to worry because he did. Whatever he was doing hurt so bad. My friend freaked out and went off on this man and nurses started coming in. It was horrible. I woke up very frightened and replaying this is my mind was freaky. I can't remember specifically if it was a boy or girl, but I'm thinking I refered to him as a boy.

Anywho, that is that, and the dreams just keep coming. There isn't one day, hardly one hour that passes that I'm not thinking about this baby. I've never been so in love and attached to someone I've never met. It is so exciting =)

another dream

I swear, it's nothing I eat, I just have the most weird dreams sometimes! So here goes for last nights dream:
I dreamt that I went to the hospital, I suppose I thought I was in labor. I was 33 weeks, and laying the hospital bed. Jeremy was not with me. There were two other ladies in the room. They were timing my contractions. And I got a really hard one and I sneezed at the same time, causing my water to break!?! And then I had the baby. It weighed 4lbs. Such a tiny thing, but had absolutely no problems breathing or health wise. Everything was just great! I don't remember the labor part. I never do. Not just in real life, but in the dream. I HAVE NEVER dreamt of laboring, never. I always have the baby and can't recall a thing about the delivery - in my dream. And I seems to always recall that I never remember actually HAVING the baby. Well, after the baby was born, the ladies were like, well, it must not have really hurt, and I couldn't remember how it felt. I just said that the 'ring of fire' was still burning. Well, Jeremy still wasn't there. I called him and told him to come up there. And I told the dr's and nurses and everyone in the room not to tell me if it was a boy or girl until Jeremy got there. So, I didn't hold the baby until Jeremy got there. Then when he was there he asked if it was a boy or girl and I told him I didn't know, so we held the baby and the nurses told us, it was a BOY!!! We were so excited. We immediately named him Ashton and were in love. The other part of that is that I never saw him bloody and covered in water and mucus. Well, then I looked in the mirror and I didn't even look like I had had a baby. Basically no one knew we had the baby. I texted my parents to come up to the hospital but didn't tell them why, when they arrived we told them we had the baby and showed him to them. That basically summarized the whole thing. There were other little quirks and stuff but that's the jest of the story.

So, this is like my 3rd dream that I've had since being pregnant that the baby was a boy. I've never dreamt it was a girl, Jeremy has once, and it was the only dream he has had of the baby. It's so weird. And in all my dreams, I never, ever recall the labor and delivery. Is that God's way of protecting me!?! I mean, yikes, I don't know what I'm in for already! I love dreaming about the baby, it's so fun. I can't believe it won't be long and the lil bean will be in the my arms. Sigh.

oh boy!

I wanted to get this out before I forgot the details. I had another dream last night about the baby. This time, as always when I dream of my baby, it was a BOY! So crazy! I have had probably 2 or 3 dreams of the specific sex of the baby since being pregnant and they have all been boy. Even my several dreams before getting pregnant, I would dream about having a baby and it was always a boy. Jeremy, on the other hand, in his one and only dream about the baby said it was girl! Well, one of us is right. He's not convinced it's a girl, and I'm not convinced it's a boy, but it's interesting to see what the 'dreams' hold and mean. My friend Carla is pregnant with her second child and it's a girl, her first is a girl too. She said all her dreams have been boy, but nope, it's a girl.

So, back to my dream. This dream was also like on I've dreamt before in that in my dream, after I have the baby, I can never recall the delivery. Ever. This time I slept through it! Yeah, right, I don't see HOW that could happen, hehehe. You know, I was thinking, maybe God does that so I won't recall the excruiating pain and be scared out of my wits for the next 5 months ;) Anywho, this baby was a boy, and a big boy, he weighed 9lbs! And it was natural with no pain meds - yikes! When I asked the nurses about it (because I couldn't remember) they informed me I went from a 0 to a 10 in pushed and had a baby in less than 4 hours, there was no time for an epidural. My friend Katy was there and when she told me I slept through the delivery, I asked her why she didn't make me up, she said she didn't realize! I asked her how I handled it and she said I was crying. The baby had some dark hair, not alot, but some and beautiful blue eyes. I remember it was several hours later, like 6am (I had the baby the night before and didn't know until the morning) and I was holding my baby and he was laughing (imagine that, who would he get that from?!?) and I just started crying telling him how much I loved him. That was really special to me, because I never thought I would be 'one of those moms'. I'm not emotionally attached to much in life, and I didn't know that I could love someone as much as I love this baby whom I've never met, but yet it's a part of me. I truly believe that it's something you don't understand until you experience it. The dream was long and drawn out as most dreams are and they intertwine with other pieces of information that is 'off the wall', but it was a sweet dream.
Oh, I remember one part, I wished really bad when I was holding the baby and trying to use my camera that I had one of those moby wraps - I'm pretty sure that's a sign that I should get one!