oh boy!

I wanted to get this out before I forgot the details. I had another dream last night about the baby. This time, as always when I dream of my baby, it was a BOY! So crazy! I have had probably 2 or 3 dreams of the specific sex of the baby since being pregnant and they have all been boy. Even my several dreams before getting pregnant, I would dream about having a baby and it was always a boy. Jeremy, on the other hand, in his one and only dream about the baby said it was girl! Well, one of us is right. He's not convinced it's a girl, and I'm not convinced it's a boy, but it's interesting to see what the 'dreams' hold and mean. My friend Carla is pregnant with her second child and it's a girl, her first is a girl too. She said all her dreams have been boy, but nope, it's a girl.

So, back to my dream. This dream was also like on I've dreamt before in that in my dream, after I have the baby, I can never recall the delivery. Ever. This time I slept through it! Yeah, right, I don't see HOW that could happen, hehehe. You know, I was thinking, maybe God does that so I won't recall the excruiating pain and be scared out of my wits for the next 5 months ;) Anywho, this baby was a boy, and a big boy, he weighed 9lbs! And it was natural with no pain meds - yikes! When I asked the nurses about it (because I couldn't remember) they informed me I went from a 0 to a 10 in pushed and had a baby in less than 4 hours, there was no time for an epidural. My friend Katy was there and when she told me I slept through the delivery, I asked her why she didn't make me up, she said she didn't realize! I asked her how I handled it and she said I was crying. The baby had some dark hair, not alot, but some and beautiful blue eyes. I remember it was several hours later, like 6am (I had the baby the night before and didn't know until the morning) and I was holding my baby and he was laughing (imagine that, who would he get that from?!?) and I just started crying telling him how much I loved him. That was really special to me, because I never thought I would be 'one of those moms'. I'm not emotionally attached to much in life, and I didn't know that I could love someone as much as I love this baby whom I've never met, but yet it's a part of me. I truly believe that it's something you don't understand until you experience it. The dream was long and drawn out as most dreams are and they intertwine with other pieces of information that is 'off the wall', but it was a sweet dream.
Oh, I remember one part, I wished really bad when I was holding the baby and trying to use my camera that I had one of those moby wraps - I'm pretty sure that's a sign that I should get one!

18 weeks - my 5th month!

Wow,that's crazy, I'm in my 5th month!, here's what baby-gaga has to say about my developing little 'sweet potato' this week! How exciting!!!

Fetal development in pregnancy week 18: We have two more ounces! Your "getting bigger-n-better by the minute baby" is already up to 7 ounces and 6 inches! This is a big week for their baby skin. There are now two distinct layers—the epidermis (or the surface skin) and dermis. Currently, their skin is covered with a greasy, waxy, cheese-like substance, known as vernix caseosa. Sure, it sounds pretty nasty, but this mixture of fatty secretions covering your little swimmer from head to toe is the best way to protect their oh-so-thin skin from bruising and abrasions as well as chapping caused by amniotic fluid exposure (and your little one is swimming in that stuff!). Still don’t like the fact your little darling is currently slathered in fatty cream like a greased pig? Well, you know the birthing process? Where you have to push something the size of a watermelon out a hole the size of a grape? That adorable little greased piglet would have a lot harder time getting through the birth canal without the vernix caseosa. Fun fact for momma’s with baby girls: it’s a uterus within a uterus! Your little girl will have developed a uterus and vagina canal by the end of this week.

And how's mom doing? POP! If you haven’t yet, you will soon be seeing the last of your inn-y belly button—until after you’ve pushed your little monkey out. If it’s getting difficult to breathe, you can thank your not-so-small belly for squishing your lungs—which will be more and more cramped for space as the pregnancy progresses. Not that this is surprising as everything else in your mid-section is getting properly squooshed as well. (What else is new?!!). Keep in mind that as you grow (and grow and grow) in size you produce more blood (for both of you), which lowers your blood pressure. So standing up quickly and/or occasional fast movements may cause slight dizziness or lightheadedness. This is totally normal, but means you shouldn’t be too quick to jump to your feet when your team scores a goal. It's better to just punch the air in excitement or clap gleefully. One more fun pregnancy symptom to add to the list: you are producing more melanin, which can cause dark patches of skin to occur on random parts of your body. Don’t worry—these dark spots (unlike your parent’s age spots) will retreat soon after birth.

Now, the famed belly shot!

So, I started this blog in my head about 10 hours ago, yup, 3:30 am. I just couldn't sleep. I was awaken at 2am by the a/c making some noise. That in and of itself is a mere shock as I'm the world's heaviest sleeper and I don't awaken for anything. Is this nature preparing me for motherhood?

So, I lay in bed and think, I'm just going to keep my eyes closed, I'll fall back asleep, I'm really tired, I had a crazy day, I'm going to sleep. It didn't work. I prayed, Lord, please, you know I need sleep, please let me sleep. Then I start thinking of everything going on in my life. My mind starts revolving around two things:
1. I'm a having a baby in about 5 months (that deserves a post all it's own!)
2. I have a good 20 things that must get done this summer and it's going to fly by very fast.

I am have accepted the position as a head-chair lady for the women's ministries at our church for the year, starting in September and working through May. Which includes, monthly devotional meetings, a ladies night out, a christmas party, and a mother-daughter banquet in May. My life is full. I need to elect officers to assist me and develop a theme and ideas for all the above. It needs to be coming together in about a month. Yikes. I'm nowhere where I should be for this adventure. I begin praying Lord, show me something. So, by this time, it's 3:30 am and I decide that I can either lay in bed and think about this stuff, or I can get up and get something to eat (I was starving, which I'm sure didn't help matters none!) and try to get my thoughts down in some order on paper. I opted for the later. Jake decided he needed to go outside and make sure the neighborhood dogs weren't having fun that he was missing out on, so, I put him out. Poured myself some chocolate milk and sat at the computer. I did accomplish quite a few things, which I'm proud of. I think I've developed an overall theme and ideas for almost each month. The ladies night out is formulating and the mother-daughter banquet has some ideas behind it. Wow, it's 4:40am. I must let Jake in, and we have to get some sleep. So, now, I'm back in bed thinking about the ideas that I've just thought about, and putting it together mentally. Oh, officers, I need help, my mind starts moving....who? Who do I ask to help me? Another 30 minutes rolls by. Oh my goodness, I am supposed to prepare a dessert for a funeral tomorrow, I have nothing in the house. I need to run to the store and get something. I can't, it's so early. I'll do it first thing in the morning. What, what do I buy? I decide a strawberry cheesecake already made in the refridgerated section in the bakery, it'll do. It's a little after 5, I'm so tired, there's nothing on tv to put me asleep, I need to go to the bathroom. I get up and go. Come back and lay there contemplating whether I should just go take a dramamine (which the dr said was okay) to help me sleep or is that just silly? I mean, I don't want to harm the baby. Geesh, I've taken it before, what if I really shouldn't have, and the phenegren they gave in the hospital, was it safe? Should I have refused it? And tylenol, should I really be popping one occasionally for the headaches? I'm not a pill taker, truthfully, I really haven't taken many at all, but what if the small dose I have consumed was harmful? Then my mind runs to the handful of times that I have neglected my prenatals. What was I thinking, I must take those, everyday. I know my baby won't be born with 2 heads and 8 arms, but what if it has austic tendancies because of me? What if it has a learning disability I could have prevented? I'm already messing up as a mother. Yes, I thought all of this between the hours of 5-6am. It's a little after 6, I'm zonked, I have a ridiculously busy day today and I need sleep. As I lay there my eyes burn, I want to cry, I want to sleep, and I can't. I see the brakes of daylight peeking through my shades and I think, this isn't happening, I did not just give up a whole nights sleep. Yep, I did. I decide I'll blog all about this, in the morning, but I need to sleep - now. I close my eyes as hard as I can and wake up a mere 2 hours later to Jeremy coming home from work.
Yeah, it's morning and I have a full day ahead, so get up and get going, you can nap later. Uh-huh, that's cute...

edited to add: I have a few things I must accomplish today. In every one of the goal setting and achievement classes, I have learned that if you want to accomplish something, set a goal and write it down. Your not serious if you don't write it down, and be specific. I can't say clean the house, because even though I might not get all of it down, if I do 'something' to clean the house, I could check it off the list. So, in a very specific manner, what I must accomplish today is:
*change the sheets on my bed
*clean our bedroom, take out the trash and vaccuum
*go get the vaccuum from sherman
*start a load of laundry
*clean the bathroom
*clean the kitchen
*continue to work on packing away my winter clothes and my spring/summer clothes that no longer fit

That's only 7 things, I can do that, that's cake. Now, do I start before or after my nap???

you're big!

Jeremy and I decided yesterday at the last minute to head oot for the night and we just got home. I'm doing good, feeling great. I got my first rude pregnant comment.

I was at the store and standing at the counter I asked if I could order a piece of pizza. After getting it and starting to leave, the lady asked, when are you due? I sorta stumbled over my words as I'm wasn't prepared for that. I said November, she replied with, whoa, you're big! I was shocked! I really don't think I looked all the pregnant yesterday. I was wearing some comfy baggy capris and a billowy tank. I was comfy, what if I wasn't pregnant? I wasn't holding my stomach or anything to make her think I was pg. Now, I know I have big boobs, but that isn't because of the pregnancy, it's just the way I am. I just don't understand people think they can be rude.

I really wasn't insulted, because I'm pg and proud, but still, you don't say something like that. I didn't take it personal. But for the note, this is what I was wearing...I really don't think I look that pregnant, fat maybe, but not obviously pregnant to make such assumption!

Ignore the hair and dorky look of my face, I'm tired!

finally catching up!

Oh my goodness, it has been ridiculously CRAZY!!! I think I'm catching up at least here in my blog. It is my first day of summer vacation =) and while I couldn't be more thrilled my list of things to do is ever increasing. And I WILL be completely caught up by our vacation! Yes, a vacation, I need one!

Last weekend we had the life changing event of highschool graduation to attend, and I was the photographer! I have a good 500 photos from the banquet to reception that I need to proof. It will take forever, but it will get done. It was wonderful to spend time with my family, I love every one of them so much. My bro was in town, TJ and Sheena, and my aunt Jo and uncle Herold came down also. We celebrated Tiffany's graduation and it was very emotional. She is so beautiful (as you will see) and is on a path of a successful future.

I'm going to post a some pics, and I will just be in one of them. I looked like beached whale, the hair style didn't do anything for me. Bummer. Oh, well. Enjoy!

17th week

Fetal development in pregnancy week 17: Don't be too shocked but... your baby is EVEN bigger than it was last week, not to mention getting cuter, and smarter every day! As you’ve come to expect, there’s no shortage of growth and development this week: your fantastic little bean stalk has added yet another half inch to their overall height-- making them nearly half a foot long! Their little limbs have reached (or are within one week of) their relative proportions, and will continue to grow evenly with the rest of the body after this week. Reactive listening has begun for your baby, even though their ears are not yet structurally complete or fully functional. Meanwhile, different parts of their astonishingly complex brain are developing to process your little one’s hearing and other senses, (you know, sight, smell, taste and touch). Mind boggling factoid of the week: if you’re having going to have a little girl, her ovaries have already produced millions of primordial egg cells, which, within a few weeks, will develop into actual eggs! Phew… just wait till she’s a teenager eh?

And how's mom doing? Even though the second trimester is often characterized as the most enjoyable of the three, you can count on a few ailments (see week 14 for additional tri-2 symptoms). This week, or in the coming weeks, you may be privy to the uncommon joys of “round ligament pain.” These not-so-lovely symptoms include bellyaches, pain in the lower abdomen and sharp shooting and/or stabbing pains, most often expressed at the end of the day. Your suffering is due to stretched ligaments and muscles that support your ever-growing uterus. This is to be expected and is perfectly normal (especially since your uterus is only getting bigger!). Some doctors advise sleeping on your left side as lying on your back can compress your pelvic veins, decreasing blood return to the lower half of your body. Lying on your left side relieves this pressure thereby allowing normal blood flow. If this doesn’t do the trick, go ahead and consult your health care practitioner, but try not to punch them when they serenely tell you it’s normal to feel stabbing pain during this time. As we all know, violence never solves anything.

My 17th week belly!

16th week

Fetal development in pregnancy week 16:Over the past three weeks your astounding growing baby has managed to stretch yet another 2 full inches (totaling about 4.5 inches) and weighs around 3.5 ounces. Yessireee, that’s some pretty serious growth... and with it comes several physical developments! For starters, their head to body ratio is finally starting to even out a bit as the rest of the body is actually growing faster than the head at this point. Yes, your little light bulb is not so top-heavy. Their adorable little limbs have lengthened, almost reaching their normal proportions which they will have at birth. Their eyes are still closed but moving and if you had an ultrasound, which many doctors recommend you have at about this time, you may even see your little one sucking on a thumb, not to mention the necessary signifiers to let you know whether you’ve got a wee lad or lassie.

And how's mom doing? Along with an ultrasound, many practitioners recommend administering the “Multiple Marker Test (MMT)”, which is also known as the “Triple Screen Test”. This very common procedure checks your blood (not your baby’s) for specific protein and hormone levels as well as informing you about any potential risks of genetic or birth defects. Before you start breathing in that strained fearful way or furrowing your brow in concern, you should know that even if you do get a positive test this hardly means your little trooper is in trouble. Only about 3 to 5 percent of women yield positive results and of those women, only 10 percent actually have any sort of complication to report. Obviously, a positive test from the MMT will mean further testing for you, including amniocentesis and more ultrasounds. Although this test sounds like a bit of a dud with the high percentage of false positives coming back, it's popular because it has and can effectively identify a majority of all neural tube defects as well as babies with Down Syndrome. So despite its obvious drawbacks, you’ll still want to arrange to take the test to better prepare you and your family for the fact that anything is possible. (see BabyCenter's page for additional information.)

Here's my belly at 16 weeks!

another dr's appt

On May 14th, I ventured to the dr's office for another anticipated visit to my baby dr. It was short and sweet. My weight gain was at a whole 2lbs, so I'm proud of myself. I was in my 16th week at the appt, I heard the heart beat and it was beating steadly at 155 bpm, still girl territory ;) Um, who's to say?!? I love the excitement of not knowing. The guessing, the 'feeling', the look, everything. It will be a blast to find out on D-day.

My next appt is June 5th, and we will have the big ultrasound. I will get to see my baby for the first time. I'm excited. When people ask about me finding out, I just have to say, that I have no desire right now to know if it's a boy or a girl. It doesn't appeal to me. It's like I know it's supposed to be a surprise and it feels too early to know. I'm not supposed to know what I'm having yet, and I like it that way.

movement!

On May 9th, 2008, I was 14 weeks 6 days pregnant, the last day of my 15th week, I felt the baby move FOR SURE! I have thought I felt it move before, but without a doubt this was the day. It was very distinct vibrations that continued for quite sometime. Since then, I have felt bubbles, popping, and vibrations. At first it felt like a flutter and since has turned more into a bubble/popping feeling that actually makes me giggle. Sometimes it tickles and other times it just takes my breath away. I think this will be my most favorite part of pregnancy!


“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”
-Unknown

I am more than ashamed of myself. Two weeks have flown by and SO much has happened in my life, and yet no blog to prove it! I did FINALLY finish the post I started over a week ago and published it. I must say that I'm definiately finding a few more things to wear and I'm enjoying the process much more now!

I had so much to write down about and now I'm drawing a blank on where to start. Mother's Day, it was, er, uh, different. People were telling ME 'Happy Mother's Day'. That was weird! The holiday has never been about me, EVER. So, obviously the thoughts started rolling in, on when does one become a mother?!? I googled mother on dictionary.com and here is a list of meanings for the word mother:

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
moth·er1 Audio Help /ˈmʌðər/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[muhth-er] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. a female parent.
2. (often initial capital letter) one's female parent.
3. a mother-in-law, stepmother, or adoptive mother.
4. a term of address for a female parent or a woman having or regarded as having the status, function, or authority of a female parent.
5. a term of familiar address for an old or elderly woman.
6. mother superior.
7. a woman exercising control, influence, or authority like that of a mother: to be a mother to someone.
8. the qualities characteristic of a mother, as maternal affection: It is the mother in her showing itself.
9. something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else; origin or source.
10. (in disc recording) a mold from which stampers are made.
–adjective
11. being a mother: a mother bird.
12. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a mother: mother love.
13. derived from or as if from one's mother; native: his mother culture.
14. bearing a relation like that of a mother, as in being the origin, source, or protector: the mother company and its affiliates; the mother computer and its network of terminals.
–verb (used with object)
15. to be the mother of; give origin or rise to.
16. to acknowledge oneself the author of; assume as one's own.
17. to care for or protect like a mother; act maternally toward.
–verb (used without object)
18. to perform the tasks or duties of a female parent; act maternally: a woman with a need to mother.
—Idiom
19. mother of all, the greatest or most notable example of: the mother of all mystery novels.

Out of the 19 definitions of the word mother, I don't feel that they describe me in any way. Before I get much deeper in my thoughts concerning this subject, I should probably preface this boldly by saying that I am extrememly pro-life and believe that life does begin in the womb, as a real, live, living, soul and person. But what does that mean to me and being a mother. I like the definition of 9. something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else; origin or source. I'm the origin and source of this life. I am exercising protected care over something (someone) else. I embraced the day with vigor and vitality. While it was unusual attention, and something I'm not used to all, it was nice. Those around me noticed that I'm a mother. I am protecting, nourishing, and caring for a life. And while that life can't be seen from the outside world, I am aware everyday of the life within me. I love the name, a proudly adorn the title, mother.



“The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.”
-Pablo Casals

me, a t-shirt gal?

Yes, I'm growing =) And I'm pleased. It seems to mean that there is a growing baby inside that is at an ever-so-fast pace, slowly taking over my body. NOTHING FITS. There I said it. Oh, sure the huge 'ole t-shirts that I don't wear. I'm not a t-shirt wearing girl. I, personally, feel like a butch in big, baggy t-shirts. I am DETERMINED to be a cute a mom, as well as a cute pregnant woman. There is only one problem, I'm pretty sure that I should wear clothes in the process. Thursday evening, I ventured to a nearby 'city' (it's bigger than ours!) with my sister and cousin to spend some girl time. Our plan - to indulge at a fabulous steakhouse, shop, and indulge again in some great ice cream. The steak - perfect, the ice cream - everything I expected it to be and more, the shopping - was, uh, yeah. They had ONE STORE with a maternity section the size of a fitting room and unless you wanted the same shirt in 14 different colors, there wasn't much to choose from. Everything I tried on just didn't work. My cousin kept saying, well, it will look cute when you get bigger. Exactly, I need something for NOW. And yes, let me begin my rant by expressing that I am picky. I nearly had a meltdown in the fitting room (yes, the 'fitting' room, did I mention that nothing 'fit' in the 'fitting' room...). Pregnancy is a joyous time, I want to look the part. I suppose the thing that bugs me is that upon entering this new summer season, my last years clothes just don't fit. So, I have an enormous amount of sorting and packing away to do. There is no use having my cute summer clothes from last year just staring at me, so I'll pack them up. I am determined to keep shopping and find things a little at a time and I won't be naked forever!

I've started my 15th week!

Fetal development in pregnancy week 15:
Your nearly four-inch long gymnast is happily mobile inside your womb and if you're really lucky, you’ll notice a point when your sneezing, coughing or laughing results in a little kick here or a poke there. Still, many women don't feel anything until the 17th week or later. Although the poking and kicking isn't very charming during sleeping hours, it’s a good sign as it means your baby is actually reacting to outside events. Yay! You’ve got yourself one active healthy baby! Their little elbows and knees are bending more freely this week and their little legs are finally growing longer than their arms and getting pumped up for prenatal Richard Simmons. Many of their major organ systems are increasing in capacity—particularly that amazing tiny heart and complex circulation system, which is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood per day, and will increase to a very impressive 200 quarts per day by the end of the pregnancy. As far as hair goes, we’ve got some new scalp patterns beginning to develop on the head, although actual head hair is not yet present.

How your baby's growing:
Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")

And how's mom doing? Have your cheeks been rosier lately? (No, no, no-- we’re asking about your face.) Are you feeling especially radiant? This famed “glow” is brought to you courtesy of the pregnancy fairy who has waved her magical “rosy tinge wand” over you. Seriously though, your body is experiencing an increase in blood flow and you probably do have flushed skin and cheeks. Just be aware that increased blood flow might cause your blood vessels to expand, resulting in a series of not-so-magical nosebleeds for some women, which although perfectly normal, are a bit gory if you’ve got a day job. If you find the nosebleeds especially irritable, consider purchasing a humidifier to ward off future nose bleeds. Also, do your best to avoid irritants, such as aerosols, smoke, and dust.. Even though the placenta is regulating your babe’s hormones, you are still producing additional estrogen, which often causes swelling of the mucosa membranes, leaving you with a stuffy nose—potentially throughout the duration of the pregnancy. These are just a few of the charming physical experiences you can chalk up to the pregnancy fairy!

I'm growing...

huh, a craving?

yes, it is...