live the life you love

So, I started this blog in my head about 10 hours ago, yup, 3:30 am. I just couldn't sleep. I was awaken at 2am by the a/c making some noise. That in and of itself is a mere shock as I'm the world's heaviest sleeper and I don't awaken for anything. Is this nature preparing me for motherhood?

So, I lay in bed and think, I'm just going to keep my eyes closed, I'll fall back asleep, I'm really tired, I had a crazy day, I'm going to sleep. It didn't work. I prayed, Lord, please, you know I need sleep, please let me sleep. Then I start thinking of everything going on in my life. My mind starts revolving around two things:
1. I'm a having a baby in about 5 months (that deserves a post all it's own!)
2. I have a good 20 things that must get done this summer and it's going to fly by very fast.

I am have accepted the position as a head-chair lady for the women's ministries at our church for the year, starting in September and working through May. Which includes, monthly devotional meetings, a ladies night out, a christmas party, and a mother-daughter banquet in May. My life is full. I need to elect officers to assist me and develop a theme and ideas for all the above. It needs to be coming together in about a month. Yikes. I'm nowhere where I should be for this adventure. I begin praying Lord, show me something. So, by this time, it's 3:30 am and I decide that I can either lay in bed and think about this stuff, or I can get up and get something to eat (I was starving, which I'm sure didn't help matters none!) and try to get my thoughts down in some order on paper. I opted for the later. Jake decided he needed to go outside and make sure the neighborhood dogs weren't having fun that he was missing out on, so, I put him out. Poured myself some chocolate milk and sat at the computer. I did accomplish quite a few things, which I'm proud of. I think I've developed an overall theme and ideas for almost each month. The ladies night out is formulating and the mother-daughter banquet has some ideas behind it. Wow, it's 4:40am. I must let Jake in, and we have to get some sleep. So, now, I'm back in bed thinking about the ideas that I've just thought about, and putting it together mentally. Oh, officers, I need help, my mind starts moving....who? Who do I ask to help me? Another 30 minutes rolls by. Oh my goodness, I am supposed to prepare a dessert for a funeral tomorrow, I have nothing in the house. I need to run to the store and get something. I can't, it's so early. I'll do it first thing in the morning. What, what do I buy? I decide a strawberry cheesecake already made in the refridgerated section in the bakery, it'll do. It's a little after 5, I'm so tired, there's nothing on tv to put me asleep, I need to go to the bathroom. I get up and go. Come back and lay there contemplating whether I should just go take a dramamine (which the dr said was okay) to help me sleep or is that just silly? I mean, I don't want to harm the baby. Geesh, I've taken it before, what if I really shouldn't have, and the phenegren they gave in the hospital, was it safe? Should I have refused it? And tylenol, should I really be popping one occasionally for the headaches? I'm not a pill taker, truthfully, I really haven't taken many at all, but what if the small dose I have consumed was harmful? Then my mind runs to the handful of times that I have neglected my prenatals. What was I thinking, I must take those, everyday. I know my baby won't be born with 2 heads and 8 arms, but what if it has austic tendancies because of me? What if it has a learning disability I could have prevented? I'm already messing up as a mother. Yes, I thought all of this between the hours of 5-6am. It's a little after 6, I'm zonked, I have a ridiculously busy day today and I need sleep. As I lay there my eyes burn, I want to cry, I want to sleep, and I can't. I see the brakes of daylight peeking through my shades and I think, this isn't happening, I did not just give up a whole nights sleep. Yep, I did. I decide I'll blog all about this, in the morning, but I need to sleep - now. I close my eyes as hard as I can and wake up a mere 2 hours later to Jeremy coming home from work.
Yeah, it's morning and I have a full day ahead, so get up and get going, you can nap later. Uh-huh, that's cute...

edited to add: I have a few things I must accomplish today. In every one of the goal setting and achievement classes, I have learned that if you want to accomplish something, set a goal and write it down. Your not serious if you don't write it down, and be specific. I can't say clean the house, because even though I might not get all of it down, if I do 'something' to clean the house, I could check it off the list. So, in a very specific manner, what I must accomplish today is:
*change the sheets on my bed
*clean our bedroom, take out the trash and vaccuum
*go get the vaccuum from sherman
*start a load of laundry
*clean the bathroom
*clean the kitchen
*continue to work on packing away my winter clothes and my spring/summer clothes that no longer fit

That's only 7 things, I can do that, that's cake. Now, do I start before or after my nap???