beautiful.

I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of beauty and today was going to be a great day. Until I realized it was only 6am. Ugh. I laid in bed until my lil love called for me to snuggle with her at around 7:20 and I knew I couldn't put off the inevitable any longer, it was indeed morning.
After I warmed her milk and poured her sippy, I opened the front door to allow the warmeth of the sunrise to shine in along with the cool morning breeze. She asked to go sit outside and drink her milk and eat her goldfish, so I poured my cereal and cut my banana and out to the porch we went. I love our snuggle and quiet times together. Nothing was said between us. And actually after a few minutes she crawled up on my lap with goosebumps covering her sweet little arms and snuggled in drinking her nice warm milk. It was in those moments, while my cereal was getting soggy and my bananas were practically mush, while I wrapped my billowy mini me in my safe arms I watched the sun begin to rise that life is beautiful.
Enjoy your day my friends. xoxo.

blogging burnout.....

I hate this because I have SO much I need to document about our lives and truly, I just don't feel like doing it....
I blogged so much that I just feel like I'm burnout. I need a revival!! I'll try to get back on the wagon.
Bascially the only reason I even stopped by was because Ashton is growing like crazy and I wanted to look at my archives of Macy to compare!!
Have a great day!

little A man :)

My last belly pic! Can you tell I'm tired!?!




Meeting Ashton!




Macy seeing Ashton for the first time!








She really was excited to be there!!


She LOVES to kiss him!

birth story

Birth Story

I would say my early labor started consistently on Sunday, June 19th. I had quite consistent and increasing contractions along with some cramping that evening into the night. I went to bed hopeful and the activity spaced out and faded. Monday I tried to stay really busy KNOWING labor was coming sometime soon :) On Saturday the 18th I cleaned my entire house crazy style and told my friends if I was still pregnant the next Saturday and had to do all this again I would be very irritated! Tuesday I went in for my appointment an internal exam to be found I was dialated 1-2. That afternoon I felt contractions, I think the exam somewhat prompted them. Again I stayed really active and contraction kept coming. Macy stayed the night with her wonderful Aunt Rana as I was having contractions and really hoped I would go into labor that night. Jeremy and I went out to eat and I had contractions every 3-5 minutes they entire time. After eating we went to Walmart to do some shopping and more importantly some WALKING! I wanted these contractions to do their job!! And they did. Contractions were getting stronger and more frequent. We came home made sure we had everything together and I laid down at about 1am. I slept off and on and of course the contractions fizzled out and became sporadic. I was up again by 4am and was tired but manageable. I did some dishes, took a shower, having contractions. We decided to go up to the hospital and just check out was going on. The dr examined me and I was a good 2. Whoopie!! I was sorta discouraged but after talking it out we decided to have my water broke and let the fun begin. So, around 9:30am, my dr broke my water and they started pitocin. I was offered an epidural around 10 but didn’t feel ready for one yet. I just labored it out, the contractions weren’t bad at all. I went ahead and asked for my epidural around 12:00 because the anesthesiologist on duty was WONDERFUL and I didn’t want him going into surgery and I would have to receive my epi from someone else. I had full epidural around 12:30 and felt great. I watched some Gilmore Girls on my laptop, edited a few photos, and just enjoyed my time  Let me tell you, THAT’S the way to labor!!! I was allowed to drink but restricted on food. I was STARVING!!
I really didn’t feel I was progressing quick enough. I was a 4 by noon. I decided I needed a nap and fell asleep a little. The nurse checked me at around 2:30 and I was a 5-6. But things started to feel drastically different. I could literally see and feel my belly lowering. My monitors weren’t picking up peanut and I told them, baby is moving lower. So, they would adjust again this went on for about 45 mins. At 3:20 they checked me because I could tell my body was changing. And of course, I’m a 10!! And instantly start getting the shakes, which is a normal side effect of being in the transition phase of labor. The nurse called my dr and they set my room up for delivery! We were having a baby!! I was so nervous!!! I texted my friends and told them to submit their final gender and size guesses baby was on the way!!!
I started to feel nauseous just nasty. I really didn’t want to throw up but knew I would. And I did. My dr didn’t want me having to deliver throwing up so he waited it out on having me push until I was ready. We did a few practice pushes and I had tears streaming down my face because I didn’t WANT to cry and throw up. I felt horrible. But I looked at the dr said lets do this. So, with tears flowing and me fighting back vomit I pushed three times and heard the first cry of my beautiful brand new baby. Jeremy looked at me and said, so what do you think it is?? I said I’m tired of the games, just tell me, and at 4:40pm Ashton David was welcomed into this life. Jeremy said, it’s a BOY!!!! You have a boy. We have a boy. Our amazing little man weighed 7lbs 2oz and measured in at 21”. My friend Misty guessed it right on with a BOY and 7lbs 2oz!!!!
I truly had an amazing experience. After I checked out Ashton, I had to ask for another bag and vomited again :( The nurse was able to get me some Zofran and I felt better right away. Ashton is a great little guy. So chill. He sleeps well and nurses good. We had a slow start because the little guy has been so sleepy but really has done just fine. We love him and Macy Grace is a great big sister. He has fit right in and I’m just overloaded with joy and blessings!!!

I'm alive!!!!!

I'm here and ALIVE!!!! hahaha.....
news, stories, and pics to come soon :)

cloth diapering

I'm really not sure how much I've put out here about my cloth diapering adventure/experience, but I love to cloth diaper.

I did a little with Macy, life got crazy (imagine that!) with the daycare and quit cloth diapering full-time. I really never got into it like I should have. I went the cheapo route and bought some knock-offs from etsy.com (I love that site!) and regretted that they just weren't as absorbent as I wanted.

Cloth diapering can be VERY VERY overwhelming. As a matter of fact, I don't even visit online forums for cloth diapering, it sends me into orbit. I went into a cloth diapering store - Green Bambino, in OKC - it's the only cloth diapering store I could find in OKC, and I LOVE the store. Morgan is AWESOME! Back to the subject, I went into the store, and just talked with the ladies. I looked, touched, and even smelled the best diapers and I instantly fell in love. I would love for Macy to be potty trained by the end of the year, but I will definitely without a doubt cloth diaper peanut. Now that I know more about what I'm doing, I'm much more confident going into the process =)

The awesome Amber Campbell, one of my photographer friends, posted a wonderful link on her blog about cloth diapering, and she has pictures to show! Hope on over and let her know you appreciate the post =)

Amber Campbell Photography

today.

So, as of today, I'm 34 weeks, pregnant, large and in charge, but I'm not quite sure what I'm IN CHARGE of cause my life right now is CRAZY.

There's good, there's bad, and there's just plain 'ole ugly. The good:
I officially have one boy in daycare. He's full-time but really easy, he's nine and self-sufficient. I can run errands, I actually do drop-offs for his mom for his summer camps and music lessons. It gets me out of the house and some time in the sun :)

More good, the house is, well, it's coming along. I wanna cry nearly everyday, but somehow I really have only had about a week two weeks ago of a break down nearly everyday, and let's just say, I consumed a massive amount of diet coke that week.

Which sorta leads us to the bad. We're moving. Well, Macy Grace, peanut, and I, WE are moving. Jeremy will join us, um, sometime. I insist I can't do that move in the week of having this baby crap like we did with Macy, Jeremy doesn't see the big deal, so I told him, Macy and I, we're moving in, do whatever you want. In so many words that's what I said. But the house isn't complete, and we really can't move without running water which, again, makes me wanna cry. And it's not at all that he isn't working. He is. Alot. It's just so frustrating. We have WAY TOO MANY bricks in the fire. Life isn't meant to live like this. We have ZERO family time. We went to a picnic for his work at a ranch last Saturday and that is first time in a month we have basically gone anywhere and been together for more than sleeping at night. Something, somewhere has got to give. And thankfully, I believe he finally sees it. He's just SO driven. Too driven most likely at times. He works very very hard, but takes on too much at the same time.

Tonight I went over there all positive and excited to see the house, left feeling down and defeated. It's coming along, it really really is, but I'm just ready. I'm ready to move in and take over and dwell, and live, and just be ready for peanut. I suggested him not doing a few minor, but yet time consuming things, and focus on the major, and that got shot down real quick. So, I'm stuck.

A good thing is that the nursery is practically ready for me to take over and get started on. We have a chair and ottoman that needs moved out, which can't be done until the living room is finished and I'm hoping that means we can at least move out this weekend. I need to shampoo the carpet in there and hopefully, hopefully start moving things in on Monday. Hopefully. I haven't even started going through Macy's old newborn, gender neutral stuff to see what I have! I need to sand and paint peanut's crib and their dresser. Maybe I can start that tomorrow. So, little by little I see the light.

I'm sorta in limbo here about what to do, where to go, how to move forward day by day. I feel stuck, and I'm full-term to have this baby in 3 weeks!!!!! 3 WEEKS!!
I'm really really hoping my great friends Miranda and Katy can help me move and get things ready.

I look around here and it's scary. My life is getting ready to change in a way I can't prepare for. I'M HAVING A BABY! I know, I know, I already have a baby. But this is so different. It's number 2. I've never had 2 kids before ;) I think about all the things with Macy and another baby and the dynamic and the time, and the energy and it's just, overwhelming at times. But of course it's possible. And doable. And it will be done and it will all work out fine in the end. Macy will be a wonderful big sister, I know it, it's just going to be an adjustment on me.

I honestly love Macy way way more than I ever thought it humanly possible to love a child. Sometimes I think she's all I need. But I never wanted her to be an only child, so I'm glad she's not. I'll have two beautiful babies to love on and kiss and hold and snuggle and life will be wonderful, it's just going to take some adjusting and getting used to.

And with all this in mind, do I dare utter that I want to quit daycare? Oh......God has worked so much out for me. I have NO ONE but maybe this ONE BOY hanging in the air waiting for me to make that decision on whether or not I'll come back to it. He's just an afterschool child, so truly NO BIGGIE to hold on to. I have no kids waiting me out, and that is SO SO releasing. I'm dying to clean out the playroom, big time. I want to throw all the nasty, ugly, broken, used toys away and only keep MACY'S toys, but that like definitely saying NO to daycare for the return. Not sure how Jeremy will feel about that.

I'm dying, itching, trying to get this photography thing off the ground. I'm almost there. I would love to launch my website July 1st. But at the same time, I don't want to fully commit to sessions until mid-September. But I need to get my name out there and sessions on the books for the holidays. So, I do have quite a bit of back-end work to be finished also. I'm still contemplating how to truly go about this.

So, that's that. A whole of nothin, but I needed to get it out there and off my mind and hopefully, prayerfully, my life will start piecing together here really soon.

On a side note, I told Jeremy IF I ever have another baby, I AM NOT MOVING!!!!!

10 on Tuesday

1. I'm 34 weeks pregnant!!! Woohoo!
2. Macy loves to play with playdoh :)









3. I took pictures of Macy before church the other day.









4. We got Jeremy to snap one of us together :)



5. Macy woke up one morning happy in her new bed and I had to snap a few pics of her CRAZY hair :)







6. And she LOVES to read her books. I left her room and heard her reading so had to grab my camera and go back in to spy on her. She was in a good mood, so she let me stay =)

















7. At VBS the kiddos were 'watch dogs' and they got these little dog noses, Macy loved hers and didn't want to take it off at all!



8. When Macy throws fit or is unkind and I am correcting her, I try to teach her a Bible verse to say. Well, I was teaching her, "Be kind one to another." She is supposed to repeat the phrases after me.
Me: Be
Macy: Be
Me: kind
Macy: kind
Me: one
Macy: one
Me: to
Macy: THREE!!!!
Um.....okay, at least we getting out counting numbers down!

9. I can't get over how different this pregnancy has been from Macy's! I am so tired all day long. I have finally realized it doesn't matter how much caffiene I consume, how many naps I take or how long I sleep at night, I will NOT have energy until after I deliver this baby :) And baby not even then!

10. I'm not going to mention that I left the laundry unfolded on my dryer for a couple of days so now that it's all wrinkley again, I'm having to rewash it all. I have been such a slacker. And I'm for sure not mentioning that I left a load in the washer for 2 days. Yes, it's getting rewashed with vinegar and detergent as we speak. Darn it, I was doing SOOOOO good at keeping up too!

Horses and love

Macy got to ride her first real live horse Friday night at our VBS carnival. She was scared at first but after we shoved her up there she let out a few smiles and giggles =)







I love horses eyes, they are amazing!



And Macy absolutely loves her Aunt Rana SOOOOOOO much. Miranda is an awesome person and great aunt for Macy and she is a wonderful friend for me too :) Love you Rana. And don't kill me for posting these pics, they are wonderful and show the love that you and mg have for each other!!



Macy's HAIR!!!!




And your's truly


It was a smidge windy that night!

tid bits

Mg loves loves loves puppies. My brother was talking to a guy who was showing him a little of puppies and Macy had a great time lovin on the pups.











Macy LOVES her unca ty ty. And he loves her. But we are thrilled to announce that Macy will not be the sole love of ty ty's life anymore. Tyler will have his own love to enjoy, as his wife Jeni is pregnant and she is due to have her baby in January. This is a miracle that we have prayed for for a long long time =)







We had VBS at our church this past week and it was WILD! Macy helped her favorite Auntie at the registration table, and she did a fabulous job =)







And I do spend a liiiiiiiittle bit of time with her too =)