10 on Tuesday

1. I'm 34 weeks pregnant!!! Woohoo!
2. Macy loves to play with playdoh :)









3. I took pictures of Macy before church the other day.









4. We got Jeremy to snap one of us together :)



5. Macy woke up one morning happy in her new bed and I had to snap a few pics of her CRAZY hair :)







6. And she LOVES to read her books. I left her room and heard her reading so had to grab my camera and go back in to spy on her. She was in a good mood, so she let me stay =)

















7. At VBS the kiddos were 'watch dogs' and they got these little dog noses, Macy loved hers and didn't want to take it off at all!



8. When Macy throws fit or is unkind and I am correcting her, I try to teach her a Bible verse to say. Well, I was teaching her, "Be kind one to another." She is supposed to repeat the phrases after me.
Me: Be
Macy: Be
Me: kind
Macy: kind
Me: one
Macy: one
Me: to
Macy: THREE!!!!
Um.....okay, at least we getting out counting numbers down!

9. I can't get over how different this pregnancy has been from Macy's! I am so tired all day long. I have finally realized it doesn't matter how much caffiene I consume, how many naps I take or how long I sleep at night, I will NOT have energy until after I deliver this baby :) And baby not even then!

10. I'm not going to mention that I left the laundry unfolded on my dryer for a couple of days so now that it's all wrinkley again, I'm having to rewash it all. I have been such a slacker. And I'm for sure not mentioning that I left a load in the washer for 2 days. Yes, it's getting rewashed with vinegar and detergent as we speak. Darn it, I was doing SOOOOO good at keeping up too!

Happy April :)

I get this ridiculous giddy feeling when April comes around :)
I hate winter. Although I love Christmas, I'm so not a winter person. I get the winter blues, seriously during the months of January and February. March is nice,
but truthfully, here in SW Kansas, March can be just as chilly and drab as January. But April, we are typically in the clear for bright sunny days :) And maybe a little rain, but for the most part snow is out of the picture. Mostly. A few years ago, it snowed 6 inches on my birthday, April 14th. Niiiiice.

Spring is so wonderful in April. I love the pastels that fill the store and little chocolate bunny and chicks, along with easter eggs and frilly dresses. It's such a renewed time of year and season :)

Macy loves it too! It means we get to go outside and she just loves being outdoors. I'm excited to move because we really do plan on having a nicer yard for her to play in. Which means a nicer yard for me to relax in, and to barbeque :) And drink lemonade, because it is like my most favorite drink!

After church last Sunday we snapped a photos, because it's our life, and we love it!















I love her chubby lil fingers =)

I'm really loving how independent lil love is these days! It's wonderful. I love it when she's hungry she just crawl up in her highchair and wait for me to notice! This morning she had some blueberry pancakes and a clementine cutie orange.

We love those around the house nowadays!

I'm also loving some tulips....what color should I buy? I'm going to the store later today and I'm thinking I need a spring bouquet =)

So excited, my head is rolling over with many many things going on in my life with preparing for peanut, the move, just the general 'nesting' stage of my life, the inability to sit still, always wanting to get things done, spring cleaning, and enjoying life!

No time to slow down =)

Love you all, have a blessed day!

ashamed.

Here I am, 5:36am, blogging. Yes, early. However, I truly don't consider 5:36am all that early. I don't. I'm crazy I know. But it is early considering I couldn't sleep until after 11 last night and I don't have daycare today so I have ZERO reason to be up before Macy Gracie.

Except, I do. I'm behind. So far behind on everything my body knew I had to wake up. And after laying here for an hour, I thought this is ridiculous, I'm getting up.

I'm not a time waster. Although many folks would argue that, if they knew how many hours I log into my computer time. But it's not all play. It's work. It is. And creativity. And inspiration. So, I justify. But I don't watch tv. At all. I don't have cable or satelitte. What little I watch (which is like the bachelor!) I watch online, skipping commercials making the best of my precious time.

But I do read my google reader and I have quite a few subscriptions. And I blog. Kinda. And twitter. And facebook. But I think I'm getting good/better at my time management. My ipod touch has helped me. I can help that lil gadget out and in no time at all, without sitting at my computer, check twitter, google reader, and facebook. Which is exactly why I haven't been blogging.

And I feel ashamed of myself. I blogged so much with Macy. It helped me feel connected to her. I bonded. I bonded with my growing baby over things I read about my pregnancy, blogging my thoughts and feelings. Noting every.little.thing about my pregnancy.

This time I obviously have not. And I feel bad. Guilty.

It's not just my pregnancy, but my life. Where has my life gone this year? Gosh, so much has happened. My life is constantly changing. Flexibility is the name of my game. I haven't wrote about it. Must.change.that. Now!!

I'll shoot some belly pics today and post them later, trust me, you don't want to see pics of me this early before the sun comes up, I'm still a pumpkin.

And I went to Oregon last week! Yup, I was gone and never told ya. So, I have pictures from that relaxing trip.

And we're moving. Huh, again. In like 6 weeks or so!?! Give or take. I refuse to move the week I have peanut like I did with Macy Grace.

I'm 21 weeks pregnant, feel like I've been it's been 10 months already and had my u/s and so I have pictures and an incredible video to share.

I have photo shoots to proof and new ones to prepare for.

I have spring cleaning and house cleaning to do (which has been postponed until nicer weather - snow is in the forecast for today! boo!). Well, I'm still cleaning house, when am I not!?!, but the spring cleaning has been postponed until like June. Just kidding, kinda.

So, here I am. Sharing this all with you in effort to release my guilt and not feel so ashamed of myself. I've been really stressed and busy lately. I need this outlet, big time. It's therapeutic.

Layla Grace

"Today I choose to love deeper, hug tighter, and give more. To appreciate life's smallest gift and enjoy them. Today is a gift."

That is how I started my morning with my facebook post. And there'a a reason for it.

I went to bed last night with blood shot eyes and tears streaming down my face and all I wanted to do was run into Macy's room and grab her and hold her. I didn't, because she would wake up and would hate me for it.

I'm a glutten for punishment. I read these terrible and yet beautiful stories that mom's write about either losing their children or raising children with uncurable diseases. And it breaks me. Someone recently told me I was crazy. They avoid those stories and will not read them. And while it doesn't make me warm and fuzzy, it does give me some wild appreciation for what I do have.

I have a healthy child and a healthy pregnancy. I don't spend my days thinking this could be my daughter's last day on earth. And while an accident could happen and life could be taken immediately, in my opinion it is totally different then watching your child die and knowing that they are in pain.

Layla Grace is no different. Her mom has alot of faith, but I don't care how much faith you have or trust in God; it doesn't matter if you believe all things work together for good and that somehow, someway God is orchestrating some beautiful symphony, the fact that a human being, a MOTHER is losing her child is devasting to me.

There is nothing I have done to deserve Macy Grace. There is nothing I have accomplished that has allowed me to conceive peanut and so far carry this baby with ZERO problems. Nothing. I am a normal human. And so are these parents who loose their children, their babies. It is only by the goodness of My God that I have what I have. And something I will never understand, but it is also my same God that allows people to die. And it doesn't seem fair. And from a human perspective it isn't fair. Honestly, I don't know that I can say that my some God perspective it is fair. But I know God's love just the same. And He's the rock. And He loves us.

So, why do I read these stories. And why do I put them out here for you to read? Perspective. It creates in me a compassion I wouldn't have otherwise. It reminds me to love today. To love deeper. To hug tighter. To be more patient with Macy Grace. To enjoy her. To laugh more. It reminds me to pray for others and be mindful of the hurts in those around me. It reminds me that Macy Grace is a gift and this baby is a gift. I need to laugh more with her and cherish every single day and thing she does. I don't need to get annoyed when she grabs my hands to play patycake or peek-a-BAH!. When she just wants me to cuddle and hold her while she drinks her afternoon juice after her nap and I have 'things' to do, I need to savor the moment. I just never, ever know what could happen tomorrow. None of us do.

Go over and read Layla's story - it'll change you.

Follow her on twitter at laylagrace

Also, become a fan on facebook of rufflebutts it's such a cute business and they are donating $1 for every fan to LaylaGrace's med bills. So go fan them!

clean.

My life feels so wonderful when everything is clean. Now, I'm not a clean freak. However, I love a clean house. And more so an organized house. Stuff makes me nervous. Clutter really bothers me. There are times I go over to friend's houses and it's so organized and clean, it actually makes me feel good and I'm assuming them too. Then I go over to friend's houses that are just, cluttered. And actually it makes me nervous. And I want to race home and completely reorganize my home and make it spik and span.

I grew up in a very clean home. Our bedrooms weren't always clean, but our house was. The dishes were always clean, the bathrooms nice and sparkly. They just were. Even during my mother's illness we had a 'picked up' home. We had chores and I hated them. My mother reminded me it was so that when I was grown and had my own home that I would know how to keep it clean. I told her I would hire a housekeeper! haha

When I got married I kept a semi-messy home. It wasn't horrible, but I didn't vaccuum or dust every week and I would allow the dishes and laundry to pile up. One thing I wanted before I had babies was to get a routine down and get on top of my housekeeping. Living with someone else is hard. And it does take effort to get on the same page and keep the house clean.

I'm no expert. I still struggle. But I'm thankful that in the time that I've had Macy Grace, I keep a much more organized and clean home. I still struggle mainly with laundry. I just can't get a system down. But I now LOVE a clean kitchen and bathroom. I feel so at peace if my kitchen is perfect and the bathroom is sparkly. And I am much more organized behind closed doors then ever before. My cabinets are very organized and I love it. I'm sure it's time to go back through them and reclean but I love the fact that the are under control. I can be messy on the outside but I know if you open my linen closet, I can tell you where everything is :)

With that said, I'm a purger. Major. I don't keep stuff just to keep it. I am sentimental to an extent but I'm willing to part with alot of things. I have a ways to go before everything is just how I want it, but I'm pleased with my progress. My theme for 2009 with simplicity. I wanted a simpler life. We downsized majorly in our space in 2009 and it was good for us. It really was.

So, today I'm back at it. Laundry. Cleaning. Organzing. I will conquer this!

Does anyone have a good system for laundry? I try to do at least a load a day, anyone have anything else to recommend? I'm open for suggestions :)

just blog.

That's what I heard from Miranda yesterday. She said peanut is going to be so left out. I don't blog as much as I did before. And she's right.

I get all these blog posts in my head, then WHAM!, something happens and I don't do it. I was starting to clean the kitchen today and decided, no I need to blog. So, here I am.

Yesterday, my friend Charity and I went down to Amarillo for a day trip. My sister in law Miranda was already there and decided we needed to meet up. Miranda took Macy for me so I could go to Motherhood Maternity and buying some snazzy skinny maternity jeans. Because, you know, if you where skinny jeans, you must be skinny! haha

I bought Miss Grace an Easter dress and some really cute clothes and shoes. And it hit me. I kinda hope peanut is a girl. Now, I really don't care. Truly I don't. But it would be so fun to reuse these clothes again because they are so darn cute! But boys are fun too. They like dinosaurs and rocket ships and monsters, how fun would that be?!? Too fun I say. But I do hope kinda it's a girl, but only because I already have one. Then it brings up the next question. Would I have any more babies after this one? You know, because alot of people now days only want two kiddos. And I don't have a definite answer on how many children I want, but I do love being a mom.

I use to dream of having about 5 biological children and adopting maybe two more. Yup. 5. And it gets crazier. I thought of my life with five wild, crazy, out of control, spikey-haired, boys. And a houseful of them at that. 5. Then when they were getting older like the oldest about ready to leave the house, J and I would fly over to China and bring back twin girls. Uh huh. That's how I pictured my life. And I don't really know why. I don't.

I'm a dreamer. And a planner. I think about the future. There are several things in my life that I would love to forget, I would give you nothing to go back to my childhood. Nothing. And I had a great home with loving parents, but there is no way I would ever want to redo it. And thank God I don't have to! J on the other hand said he wouldn't mind. But because I don't live in the past, I live in the future. The what will be. The what's to come. I always dreamt of being a mom. And now I'm living my dream. And I'm thinking of the next thing. Another baby. Another house. The future when lil love goes to school and I help her with her homework and teach her how to read. Going on her sports games with her and being that mom who is actively involved in my child's life. I think about these things. Often.

I think about my future house(s) and decorating and what would my dream house be like, and vacations I want to take. And yes, how many children I want. And I don't have the answer.

I will say at this point I feel I am too young to make any definite decision to cut off all possibility of having more children. Alot could happen between now and the end of my childbearing years. And it's really nothing I need to stress over now.

I guess it's natural that after someone has one baby people ask if they would like more, and my answer was always of course. So, I wonder how many will ask if I would like more children after this one. I'm sure some. And it makes me wonder how I will feel. Will it be of course? Because honestly, right now, it isn't of course. It's more like, I don't know.

i know why i don't blog anymore....

Google reader and my ipod touch. Seriously. I just grab my ipod and check my google reader and go about my day....never having to log in to my blog to check updates. Grrr. That must change.

I'm doing great. We had a good Valentines day, hope you did too. We truly didn't do much. We reserved a room in the bigger G City at a Holiday Inn Express and headed up there Monday for the night. We ate dinner at the Lonestar Steakhouse and that steak was delicious! Of course no trip is good without a stop at Dairy Queen, so we did that and headed back to the hotel where we took lil miss Grace swimming. Yes, we took her. It was a family overnight getaway and it was great. I took my camera but didn't want to take it down to the pool so I have no shots! I'll tell you though, she's uber cute in a swimsuit! Her chubby lil thighs just wiggling down the hallway was adorable. She walks so fast and its the cutest. She loved the water. Always has and I want to keep her around it so she doesn't develop a fear of swimming. I love to swim and we had a fun time. Saturday we ate their hot breakfast, dipped in the pool some more and ate lunch at Applebees off a Mother's Day Out coupon card for a free lunch for mom's :) We went to Home Depot, Sam's and Target. We really needed some time away. I'm so glad we went.

why do I do this to myself?

I have so much to say and blog but yet I just don't do it. I need a spankin.

I'm terribly behind on everything in my life and I just don't know why.

I'm distracted. Distracted by my lil love bug (who is laying in my arms bawling because I hurt her feelings - I said no!, I guess it was too harsh!?!), by photography, by baby 2.0, by daycare, by life, by moving. Oh yeah, have I mentioned we are moving - AGAIN?!?! Yup, back to house of Macy's conception! Hahaha, I love saying that!! But really, it's the house that we lived in about a year and half ago before I had Macy and we moved out because I was large and in charge and the house was not going to be renovated in time for love bugs arrival. Well, we are shooting for April. But I'm not getting my hopes up. I moved into this nest 4 days before giving birth to miss grace, so nothing is out of my zone.

How cute would these be in the love's room?? (They are sharing! Not for lack of space, we are more then doubling our square footage but because they are getting a huge room with the most storage and I see no reason kids can't share rooms. That is unless it's a boy then they'll share for just a few years. If it's a girl, they'll share for a very long time!)

Wall Cards



I would even string them up some twine and little miniture clothes pins just as shown. Oh, cute as a button!

And I'm 95% sure I have their bedding picked out. Macy is getting a toddler bed and peanut gets her crib. If baby 2.0 is a girl, they will have matching bedding (I know, I'm just like that!! They'll hate me eventually I'm sure!) And this will be their bedding. I've loved it for over a year and can't stop thinking about it. We're meant to be together! It is pricey but it's Pottery Barn, my favorite and it'll last a long time.

Brooke



And if peanut is a boy, he's getting elephants. I think it's classic. It's called Eli. I'm much more willing to find something different for a boy, but I'm satisfied with this.



Anyone else watching the Bachelor, I love it!

We got about 6 inches of snow last night! I welcomed it this time because last weekend when it snowed it really ruffled my feathers! Yes, it did. We had a great weekend getaway planned, a marriage retreat weekend, with about 25 other couples from our church and the white fluffy stuff ruined it. Humph. We did end up having some classes here but trust me, it's not the same. I was so looking forward to getting out of town and enjoying the comforts of a hotel and big city with my main squeeze and instead we arrived late (our fault!), sat in squished corners (again, probably my fault!) and came home just like any other evening and J went to work. So, I was bummed but we are still taking a weekend getaway (just without our friends :( ) hopefully sometime here soon.

I'm having a girl's night/scentsy party tomorrow night. My friend sells scentsy and I love it. I'm also thinking it's a good time for a girl's night of games and food so I'm inviting them for the scentsy party but then we're hanging out as long as anyone wants to and playing games and eating til we can no longer stand it! I love to eat!

Does anyone follow along Pioneer Woman? I love her. I'm addicted to her black heels to tractor wheels love story. If you are bored and have about 13 hours to spare, click on over. I normally read til my eyes burn; I'm somewhere around chapter 31 or so!?!

I better run and go fetch my child. Love to all. xoxoxo

10 on Tuesday

1. Last night the christian school had their annual Christmas Cantata and it was great! My brother Dalton had the male lead and my sister Lindsey had a supporting female part. They did a fabulous job!
2. It's snowing!!! Not a alot. But it is sinfully cold out, read, like single digits, and the wind is blowing, but we have SNOW!!
3. We have an insanely busy month, but isn't that how all Decembers are? I wish it wasn't so crazy, people start to not enjoy it. I love the festivities of Christmas.
4. Jeremy has to work Christmas Eve, Christmas night, and New Years Eve this year :(
5. Macy is 13 months today!
6. She is taking steps but not fully walking!
7. I'm super super excited for this weekend. Me and a couple of friends are heading to the bigger city to do some Christmas shopping. A girls weekend - no kids! We're thinking indulging in ridiculously yummy food, catching a movie, and some great sales!
8. There is a play on Thursday night at the college theatre called Little Woman and I'm dying to go. I love that movie. Must call for tickets! Miranda, wanna go??
9. Okay I wrote this on Tuesday then never finished so it's a few days off!
10. The daycare has been crazy. Kids sick, parents off. Macy sick. We just can't catch a break! Pray for us!!

We take our cruise in a little over two weeks and it seems to be the theme of our days. I'm stalking air tickets pining for the lowest possible fares! We sat down the other night and looked at excursions and researched things to do and places to avoid. I'm a member over at cruisecritic and I highly recommend checking out their site if you are looking into cruising. Alot of great information over there!

Macy isn't feeling so great. Before I left for California, she had a runny nose and I think it started from allergies. While I was away, she developed a little cough and became congested. I started her on some breathing treatments and thought she was doing better until two nights ago she really started coughing alot through the night. Jeremy has her right now at the dr's so she can get better.

Other Macy Grace news includes she cut her top right tooth over the weekend and the left one is getting close. She actually has done pretty good with this set, her bottom two had her running fever and she hasn't with this top one yet!

I'm trying to come up with a plan for making Macy's baby photo book. I thought I would do the books every 3 months for the first year, but now I'm not sure we'll get that detailed with it. The trouble with studying photography is you become a huge critic of the art. I look at my pictures and although she is my beautiful baby I see all the photographic errors and color casts and decide they aren't good enough to print. I need to just realize that this is not what it's about. It's about capturing the memories of her daily life, whether they are great photographs or not. And I take alot, I'm just not satisified with them because everytime I snap a pic of Macy Grace it isn't perfect lighting, focus, clarity, or white balance. And I'm hard on my work. If it isn't fabulous I don't want anyone seeing it. That isn't good. These are memories of Macy Grace and I want them. Good or bad. So, I may be showing more 'bad' photos over here in the next few weeks.

Fall is in the air and I just LOVE it! I bought some pumpkin spice febreeze the other day and I'm drenching my curtains and couch with it and I love the smell. It's so warm. Yumm-o. And the weather is certainly autumnish too! With a daytime high of 67 it's cool and crisp and I'm enjoying it!

I'm going to try to get back here in a bit to post some recent pics of lil love from the weekend.

thunder

it's 10am and it's thundering and couldy and I LOVE IT!!!
Grant it, if I had a full house and we needed the out door play time so I wouldn't end up in the looney barn, I wouldn't love it. But that's not the case today. It's quiet. Just a few lil kiddos. It's a movie, book, and coloring day! Such fun. I love thunderstorms. Love them.

10 on Tuesday

1. A recap of our trip to Oregon tomorrow!!
2. Busy getting the house together for my big, fall daycare enrollment. It's going to be CRAZY around here!
3. Anyone else itchin' for fall? I'm normally a summer sunfish but I'm starting to want autumn.
4. Is it just crazy that schools are starting THIS week?
5. We might not take our cruise. We are so wishy washy about it. And actually if I hadn't just paid the rest of it 2 weeks ago, I would cancel. I'm just not all that excited about it. Leaving Macy, the extra expenses. I just don't know. We would loose $500 if we get out now. Jeremy said if they only reason I'm thinking about canceling is because we have to leave Macy, we'll just take her with us. Oy. That kinda defeats the purpose. I don't know. It's not that big of deal to take her except on the islands we won't be able to snorkel which is what we LOVE to do. But we could still do the beach and walk the ports, so I don't know. Any opinions?
6. Lil love has her first tooth =) It broke through yesterday! And she is VERY selfish of that tooth, she will not share it. So, don't even try. She worked hard for that tooth and you do not get to touch it or look at it!
7. Have I mentioned I'm ready for school to start? I'm want my routine back!!
8. Random fact about me: I can touch my nose with my tongue. It's true.
9. It is so weird that I'm not 'getting ready for school' in the fact that I'm shopping for school supplies, decorating a classroom, organizing schedules or planners, interviewing students/parents, cirriculm testing, etc. For 21 years I've been 'getting ready for school'. Not this year. And I'm sad. Twenty-one years ago I got a rad, pink Minney Mouse backpack and lunch box, wore my red jumper with red and white striped shirt, white socks and gray loafers (I should go find a picture!) and headed out for my first day of Kindergarten, and I was rockin'! Thirteen years later I graduated highschool; packed up my 1993 Chevy Corsica and drove 240 miles to the BIG city for a life altering college experience. I pursued a degree in Education, graduated in 05 and came back home to accept a position as supervisor of grades K-2. This is my first year in alot of year NOT getting ready for school. And I'm sad.
10. I have a whiney crying lil love bug that needs me, so I'm off. Enjoy your day.

10 on Tuesday

1. I've been crazy busy shooting pics and practicing. My day goes like this. Up at 6am with the lil love bug. Daycare from 7am-6pm. 6pm head out and try to get some pics of ANY willing subject! haha, and sometimes NOT so willing! Home by 7pm. Feed Macy. Play with Macy. Bath, book, boob, bed for Macy by 9pm. Study, read, edit, reread, re-edit. My eyes are burning and watering by 11pm. Go to bed. Start all over. It's great!

2. Here is one of my willing (i think ;) )subjects, she's gorgeous. Both of them. They are sisters. The blond is my sister in law. PS: I didn't ask you, is it okay if I share these on the world wide web? Thnks!






3. I won't comment on the willingness of this one.



4. Or this one.



5. I realized I have yet to publish lil love's 8 month letter. Will do that. Soon.

6. I leave next Wednesday with Macy Grace on her very first ever plane ride. I did myself a huge favor though. We are flying out of here, which is way more expensive, but I just couldn't travel 3-4 hours in a car to a major airport, load up an 8 month old and fly across the country by myself. Just couldn't do it. Any tips for air travel with a baby?

7. I mentioned it briefly. But lil love is taking the bottle. It has been a struggle for 4 months. She hasn't let that thing even touch her lips. It was ridiculous. She just likes skin. I thought for a long time it was the formula. Nope. She wouldn't take breastmilk pumped either. I'm not sure what the break through was, but I'm not complaining. I basically just didn't give up. I kept offering it over and over again. Finally she accepted it. Maybe it was the $20 bribe ;) But I didn't say that....

8. This lil man was okay with my big, black box



9. I think that for supper tonight we are going to have barbeque pork sandwiches and potato salad.

10. Did I ever tell you that one time I blew up a bottle of yellow finger nail polish in the microwave!?! I'll have to share that sometime.

house thoughts

I think we have made a tenative decision to go ahead and stay here in our house awhile longer. Moving into this house back when I was 40 weeks 3 days pregnant (it's true!), our plan was stay here a few months, a year max, and finish our previous abode. Besides we went from roughly 2,000 sq feet, with 2 bath, 4 bedrooms, a kitchen, dining room, living room, and office, with a separate laundry space and workshop for storage to a 1,100 sq feet, with 1 bath, 2 bedrooms, a kitchen/dining room/living room combo, office/playroom combo, laundry room/storage room combo. Our previous house is loaded with cabinets and closets, our living house is not. As a matter of fact, our previous home is still loaded with most of our things. Needless to say, in the last 8 months we have completed all but nothing on our previous home. Quite discouraging when you think of the fact that we loose ALOT of money every month partially occupying 2 homes. So, we needed to make a decision. A unfortunately we start discussing the topic, get frustrated because their is so much to do and we don't want to do it, and quit talking about it until the craziness of what we are doing again slaps us between the eyeballs. Thus the cycle starts all over. Not to mention we have our 'forever' home sitting in a beautiful neighborhood occupied by paying tenants and I drive by nearly everyday pining for the day that we get to move in. It's just not pracitical right now. Or at least that's what I tell myself everyday (my heart has yet to agree!).

So, we are at a crossroads. Do we move back to the loaded house (with the problems it has and halfway started renovation!?) and use living house as daycare only, opening space up and allowing more income? Do we reevaluate our living house situation and make it more practical allowing for more space? (Have I ever mentioned how I love pracitical living, thinking outside the box, and NON-CLUTTER??) Or do we take a plunge - asking our tentants to move out, then move into our 'forever' home in the outdated version it is (with absolutely ZERO cosmetic redo's for a LONG time) and call it good? Decisions, decisions.

It's not as easy as yes or no. Because I know what I want to do. But we're not sure that is the right move for our family right now. So, I sit and wait. However, time is running out. We need to make a decision - soon. So, we hit our heads against the wall, ran in opposite directions, and talked about it. I think for now, as of today, we are staying here. Our loaded house just simply isn't ready for us. We will be frustrated trying to live amoung the dirt and renovation. Plus, it's not healthy, especially for lil love.

Moving into our forever home is the option that is the hardest for me to walk away from, considering my love affair with the 1914 bungalow. It's hard for me to logically talk myself out of it, but nonetheless, I know us, and without all of our ducks in a row before moving in it just isn't good. So, the countdown is down. We will renew their lease for one more year. Next June, I'm moving in!

So that brings up to option 3, continue living in our living house and start living practically and make more room. So, that is precisely what we are doing. I'm moving out the dining room table.

the rain.

Macy Grace has been waking up early lately - boo. She normally wakes up around 6:30 and I'm actually okay with it because so far it works out perfect for my daycare, but 6:00 or 5:30 just isn't doing it for me! And this morning was no exception. I was sorta surprised because we had a late night out at the farm for J and my good friend's wedding rehearsal dinner. It was F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S. I have pics. It was gorgeous. Anyway, back to what I was saying. I went in and picked up lil love and put her in bed with me for an hour and she nursed, and wiggled, and squirmed, so we got up. And gosh darn it, today was actually a day for me to sleep in! Oh well. I walked to the living room and opened the door and rain. The wonderful, beautiful smell of rain. It's clean. Calm. I LOVE rain.
Today we have a wedding and it's worth celebrating =)
Have a great day!
Go!!

10 on Tuesday

1. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me this morning, then realized it was 12:23 and I hadn't had my pepsi max yet, oy. I'm helplessly addicted.
2. I feel so wishy washy, but I think my goal for now, today, Tuesday, July 9th, is that this house I'm in right now will be just a daycare come fall. If we can get Prospect in a more liveable conidition by then. Pray!!
3. My autofocus points are not working on my camera right now, and I'm so frustrated by it. Grrr.
4. Another wishy washy thing, but I'm pretty sure that I've decided to go to junior church camp this year, and Jeremy might might be able to go too!
5. If camp works out, then I think I'll just try to work out something to fly from there to Portland to see grandma and get our five generation pic then I can fly straight back here for a pretty good deal. I've just got to dot all my i's and cross my t's.
6. We (J and I) actually went to Prospect (our old house, we name them, it's how we keep them organized!) last night to start cleaning it out. Boy, it's a mess. I just need to do it like they do on Clean Sweep and take everything from one room outside and then decide out comes BACK in. Sounds good because I hate bringing things BACK in. We just have so.much.stuff.
7. After a laid back evening last night, it feels good to just relax. We have been so busy lately. J took Macy Grace and I out to eat at my favorite mexican place La Hacienda, then we came home for a bowl of cookies-n-cream ice cream after lil love was nice and cozy in bed =)
8. I have several people who are interested in my photographing their children for my skill building and portifolio building, I'm pumped. Practice, practice, practice. Now I just got to take care of the focusing issue.
9. Katy's wedding is in two and half weeks - wow.
10. I have LOVED having my brother and Miranda here this summer. It is so fun. And Macy Grace loves it too, special Aunt Rana time.

10 on Tuesday

1. I'm entering a contest to win THIS



It's a giveaway at the Lettered Cottage, a blog I so faithfully follow and adore. It is from Grace at Coastline.
Check it out, you'll be glad you did =)

2. It's Tuesday. Ah. Time is flying by and I have a bunch of things I want to complete before my grandma and grandpa come next week.

3. To help with number 2 (well, not entirely but it works) I'm going to Hobby Lobby tonight. Yeah! But it is a 90 mile drive ONE WAY to get there. So, I make my trips worth it!

4. Macy Grace will be 6 months old this week. Wow.

5. I need some help with bamboo shades. I bought some for an incredible deal. I suppose I just didn't realize they were see through. And I have an issue with that. I just don't like people always being able to see in my house. So basically I would need to have my curtains closed anytime I don't want people peering in, right? But I don't like my curtain closed all the time. I just can't make a decision. I love the look. Maybe I should just give it a try.

6. We were blessed with a new washer and dryer. My motto "good things come to those who wait" once again paid off. A lady we know bought a new washer and dryer in January and unfortunately passed away just right after. So, it is basically new. We are getting it at half of what she paid for it. I'm so excited, because we have a really old washer and dryer right now. It will be wonderful to have a new one.

7. For how incredibly busy I am right now and how much I have encompassing my thoughts on a daily basis, I'm surprisingly not all that stressed.

8. Which is why I don't make lists very often. It overwhelms me. Sorry, I just can't help it!

9. I love the way Macy Grace laughs. Oh, it just brightens my day.

10. I have roughly $150 of my birthday money I can spend. Any ideas of what to spend it on? I know it stuff to spice up my home, but how?

10 on Tuesday

1. Macy Grace has been crying again at night....humph. Last week I thought we confidently broke that cycle. She's only crying out of habit. She wakes up and has trouble soothing herself back to sleep so she cries for me to come and feed her to which she falls asleep in less than 2 minutes. But still, she doesn't need the middle of the night feeding. Well, last night and the night before she's been crying. But it's not a full out crying, just a whimpering trying to go back to sleep. Oh my poor baby girl!
2. She's getting bigger and bigger and talking more and more. And she laughs so cute!
3. So, I zumbaed last night. What's zumba you ask? I'm glad you did. Well, you can read about here, here, and here
Now, that I have your attention, you can watch it here:



I didn't exactly rock the floor, but I had a good time and it got me moving =) And I'm not near as sore as I thought I would be!

4. I've done a ridiculous amount of laundry in the last two days...the sad thing is I still had clothes in my closet. I ashamedly have too many clothes.
5. I really can't believe it's almost May. MAY! It's unbelievable.
6. I have a few projects in mind for our house. I would like them finished before my grandparents come in only 3 weeks!
7. I'm the leader of our Mother's Day Banquet at church in less than two weeks, and I'm really starting to freak out. I have so much to do for it.
8. I bought a few items from etsy yesterday. Hopefully they will be here this week, and I'll take some pics of them.
9. In relation to number 8, I'm cloth diapering Macy Grace. I'm just getting started. I have alot of prefold and a few covers. So, I'm starting with those. I also ordered some AIO's (all in ones) which are exactly like disposables but washable. People look at me like I have 3 heads when I tell them, but it's cheaper, better for our environment, and healthier for lil love.
10. My allergies are kickin my booty. I'm so drugged up three-fourths of the day it's ridiculous. Oh, the joys.

Well, girls, have a blessed day, I'm off to change the world, one diaper at a time =)

blessed

It's my normal morning routine to sit here on the couch and feed Macy Grace while browsing through my google reader and catch up on the blogs that I'm following. Well, this morning I didn't have too many to skim through however one that really spoke to me. I follow along on a blog of a law student down in Austin, Texas that is a full-time working mom of a not-quite-two-year-old-toddler, her husband in a MBA student, working to start his own business. This morning she wrote that it seems so much easier to write and journal when things are rough. When there is drama and chaos, and trust me, she's had MORE than her share. And it is so true. When life is peachy keen and everyone's happy and you've learned your groove and it's working, we don't seem to think of blogging. But I think that's when it is important too. Sure a semi-anonymous internet public blog/forum is the perfect way to vent your frustrations and struggles; however, it's also a great happy place.
So, today amid the sunshine and spring, I'll comment on my happy place.
My life is so full right now. And perfect. Macy Grace is becoming alot fun. I didn't realize how much she wasn't feeling good until she was no longer babbling and cooing at me. Now that she is feeling better, she is a gabbering up a storm! She really is a happy baby. And a fun baby. She is so grown up. I forget she's only 4 months and start thinking she's around 6 months or so! I know, I'm crazy.
Yesterday, she was sitting in her walker (the walker her feet are still a few inches off the floor in!) and she had a few toys in hand while I was doing my hair. I would like over at her and catch her just staring at me then I would smile and her entire face would just light up with excitement. We kept playing like that, it was great. I'm just amazed at how fun she has become, and how much she has grown.
I'm also blessed on the job front. There for a while, we were really nervous that Jeremy might loose his job. Well, he hasn't and we are incredibly greatful for that. They have had to cutback, but he still has his job and hopefully will not be in jeopardy of being cut this year, and with the economy being the worst it has been since I've been alive, that's saying alot.
We were even able to purchase another house in January and we even have a deposit down for a renter. Jeremy has been crazy busy fixing it up so the renter can move in at the first of April.
And as for the daycare business starting up, it's coming, slowly but surely. And that's how I want it. Truly. I'm opening my home, life, and family up to others and it's very important to me that I allow the right people in on this. And it's all in God's perfect timing.
So, there ya have it. My life right now, as you know it. I'm blessed. It's full. It's good. Very very good. And very very blessed.
Have a blessed day!

PS. this may or may not take the place of my 10 on Tuesday, that's now Wednesday!