Layla Grace

"Today I choose to love deeper, hug tighter, and give more. To appreciate life's smallest gift and enjoy them. Today is a gift."

That is how I started my morning with my facebook post. And there'a a reason for it.

I went to bed last night with blood shot eyes and tears streaming down my face and all I wanted to do was run into Macy's room and grab her and hold her. I didn't, because she would wake up and would hate me for it.

I'm a glutten for punishment. I read these terrible and yet beautiful stories that mom's write about either losing their children or raising children with uncurable diseases. And it breaks me. Someone recently told me I was crazy. They avoid those stories and will not read them. And while it doesn't make me warm and fuzzy, it does give me some wild appreciation for what I do have.

I have a healthy child and a healthy pregnancy. I don't spend my days thinking this could be my daughter's last day on earth. And while an accident could happen and life could be taken immediately, in my opinion it is totally different then watching your child die and knowing that they are in pain.

Layla Grace is no different. Her mom has alot of faith, but I don't care how much faith you have or trust in God; it doesn't matter if you believe all things work together for good and that somehow, someway God is orchestrating some beautiful symphony, the fact that a human being, a MOTHER is losing her child is devasting to me.

There is nothing I have done to deserve Macy Grace. There is nothing I have accomplished that has allowed me to conceive peanut and so far carry this baby with ZERO problems. Nothing. I am a normal human. And so are these parents who loose their children, their babies. It is only by the goodness of My God that I have what I have. And something I will never understand, but it is also my same God that allows people to die. And it doesn't seem fair. And from a human perspective it isn't fair. Honestly, I don't know that I can say that my some God perspective it is fair. But I know God's love just the same. And He's the rock. And He loves us.

So, why do I read these stories. And why do I put them out here for you to read? Perspective. It creates in me a compassion I wouldn't have otherwise. It reminds me to love today. To love deeper. To hug tighter. To be more patient with Macy Grace. To enjoy her. To laugh more. It reminds me to pray for others and be mindful of the hurts in those around me. It reminds me that Macy Grace is a gift and this baby is a gift. I need to laugh more with her and cherish every single day and thing she does. I don't need to get annoyed when she grabs my hands to play patycake or peek-a-BAH!. When she just wants me to cuddle and hold her while she drinks her afternoon juice after her nap and I have 'things' to do, I need to savor the moment. I just never, ever know what could happen tomorrow. None of us do.

Go over and read Layla's story - it'll change you.

Follow her on twitter at laylagrace

Also, become a fan on facebook of rufflebutts it's such a cute business and they are donating $1 for every fan to LaylaGrace's med bills. So go fan them!