one year ago

I was just thinking about how much my life has changed in the last year. I looked through my blog posts and one year ago today I was blogging about finishing my 14th week of pregnancy and had JUST started feeling lil love move within. Oh, the joy. I read through my thoughts on the subject and how it made me feel at the time, and I couldn't help but smile. I loved being pregnant. And I love holding the bean in my arms now. Despite my craziness, I really really do enjoy my life.

Also, one year ago tonight Linds, Tif, and I went to the bigger little city and ate some amazing steak, ate ice cream and had a very difficult time finding me some clothes.

Oh the difference a year can make. I'll be back later. Blessings.

bad mommy

I am so upset at myself right now. Last night I very stupidly drank almost a full 32oz of diet coke. Which means, I can't sleep with diet coke running through my veins. I have had SO much on my mind lately and I suppose I'm just not handling everything really well right now. Last night was the first night in quite awhile that I had nothing scheduled to do, although I had alot I needed to do. I just simply couldn't find the motivation to do it and was crabby. Since I couldn't sleep, I popped 2 benydrals, hoping to snooze away the night and wake up refreshed. Well, I did. I slept too good. I heard Macy crying, and I guess I just tooned it out, thought she would just fall back to sleep, whatever, I don't know. Well, I woke back up a little after 6 to realize she's still crying and I didn't go get her. Crap. I go in there so sleepy and see my little baby screaming because she had pulled the bumper pad over her face and was lodged between the bumber pad and the railing of the crib - she couldn't pull herself out. I started crying, she's crying. I felt and still feel so bad. I grabbed her and just hugged and kissed her and fed her. My poor baby.

10 on Tuesday

1. I'm entering a contest to win THIS



It's a giveaway at the Lettered Cottage, a blog I so faithfully follow and adore. It is from Grace at Coastline.
Check it out, you'll be glad you did =)

2. It's Tuesday. Ah. Time is flying by and I have a bunch of things I want to complete before my grandma and grandpa come next week.

3. To help with number 2 (well, not entirely but it works) I'm going to Hobby Lobby tonight. Yeah! But it is a 90 mile drive ONE WAY to get there. So, I make my trips worth it!

4. Macy Grace will be 6 months old this week. Wow.

5. I need some help with bamboo shades. I bought some for an incredible deal. I suppose I just didn't realize they were see through. And I have an issue with that. I just don't like people always being able to see in my house. So basically I would need to have my curtains closed anytime I don't want people peering in, right? But I don't like my curtain closed all the time. I just can't make a decision. I love the look. Maybe I should just give it a try.

6. We were blessed with a new washer and dryer. My motto "good things come to those who wait" once again paid off. A lady we know bought a new washer and dryer in January and unfortunately passed away just right after. So, it is basically new. We are getting it at half of what she paid for it. I'm so excited, because we have a really old washer and dryer right now. It will be wonderful to have a new one.

7. For how incredibly busy I am right now and how much I have encompassing my thoughts on a daily basis, I'm surprisingly not all that stressed.

8. Which is why I don't make lists very often. It overwhelms me. Sorry, I just can't help it!

9. I love the way Macy Grace laughs. Oh, it just brightens my day.

10. I have roughly $150 of my birthday money I can spend. Any ideas of what to spend it on? I know it stuff to spice up my home, but how?

weekend recap

I had a busy and productive weekend but would have it no other way because I hate boring weekends!
Friday night immediately after the last kiddo vacated the premises I bundled lil love up and we headed to Alltel for a new cellphone. Mine had been slowly breaking over the past few months and I was wanting a new one. The plan was to get in and out in record time to make it to my friend Beth's candle home party by 7:00. It was alrady 6:30 so I knew I was pushing it but thought I would try! Well, I didn't make it to the party, I actually spent my Friday night at Alltel for 2 HOURS! Yup, I wasn't in my car headed home until 8:30, grr. Oh well, I got a brand new phone in the process and I loooooove it (so far!). I sort of had a difficult time deciding because it's such a commitment. I don't like paying for a new phone so I'm usually stuck with the same one for 2 years unless I need to make an insurance claim. I made it home, nursed a fussy baby, ate a yummy pizza J was able to cook up real quick in the oven, and I was in bed by 11:00 =)
Saturday morning Macy Grace and I laid around a bit and were somewhat lazy until J got off work and then it was on my agenda to clean house. I've been switching out lil love's winter clothes and the new sizes (she's wearing 6-9 months now), and it has taken quite some time. Worked on that, worked on cleaning the house, then needed to meet at the church to get some supplies ready for the Mother Daughter Banquet this Friday. My friend Katy and I had to make a short trip to get fitted for her wedding and while away I hit up an Alco store and scored an amazing deal on some rollup bamboo shades. I've been eyeing some for a while because I'm wanting a new look for our living room giant size window. After our trip we ran a few quick errands stopping by my dad's house for a few minutes and picking up some gringas (quesedillas) at the taco shack.
We enjoyed our normal Sunday routine with church and made up all of our shaved ice flavor concentrates making my hands very rainbow stained! I worked on a few photography projects and surprisingly this morning when I wokeup (early!) I'm not that tired. Maybe I'm finally getting used to my new life!?
Have a blessed day =)

the greatest of these is charity

"Faith, hope, charity, but the greatest of these is charity". It's the first thing that came to my mind when I started reading this story. Several months ago I posted a link to this dear mom's blog Brooke and the loss of her sweet girlies Carynne and Sydney. I offered everyone the chance to sign a petition for Congress to allow more money to go into finding a cure for Werdnig-Hoffman Disease also known as Spinal Muscular Atrophy, type 1. I had revisited the blog since the day her babies died, but had thought she hadn't updated it, I was not looking at it right. I was wrong. She had pages and pages of updates and I started reading through some of it. And it is very heavy stuff. Heavy. Intense. It's not for light reading. I sat down here and have just cried my eye's out literally (and I don't do that often!) and ran into the other room and grabbed Macy and just held her and cried and told her how much I love her. I tell her that anyway, but I needed to again today more.
I want to challenge you to make your way over to her blog and start reading (when you feel that maybe you can emotionally!). I only got through about 3 posts, it's all I could handle for this morning. But if her story touches your heart, leave her a comment and let her know. Pray for her and her husband. My philosophy is you never know when you will need a band of prayer warriors on your side, so do what you can now.

And if you have a little one to love, love them extra much today. And tomorrow. And the next day. We all have someone to love, so reach out and show it. Don't get so wrapped up in the petty things, just the little things everyday things and love. The biblical truth is so true, the greatest of these is love.

Blessings!

morbid?

I have no problem talking about death. And actually some might refer to me as having a morbid view of death. I'm not sure that I would describe myself as morbid, but maybe. I suppose I wanted to mention this aspect about me because I think about death alot. And I have no problem preparing for death and discussing it. I think it's because I understand that it's envitable and while I don't enjoy the thought of dying nor the topic in general, I'm comfortable discussing my feelings about it.
I have had very close and personal experiences with death. I've sung the song and danced the dance more times than I care to recall.
I was visiting with my inlaws when I mentioned their will and I wasn't aware that they don't have one. I casually asked what they would desire of their estate when they die and to my surprise they didn't have it written out anywhere. Which is fine. But what sorta weirded me out was the fact that my MIL said she doesn't like to think of death so she won't. While I understand that most people don't enjoy thinking or speaking of death, in my opinion it's a fact of life. And it will happen, so be as prepared as you can.
While on the subject, we don't have a will - yet. We are working on it. We really need one especially with all of our investments and of course, Macy Grace. We have decided on her godparents, but we still need to ask them! But in general we are working on the whole thing.
Like I mentioned, I don't just get all warm and fuzzy with the idea of dying, but I think about it. I don't think of myself dying that often, but other people.
In the next couple of weeks, I may be writing on this very subject of death. For several of reasons, it is a topic that encompasses my thoughts on a regular basis this time of year.
After reading this you may agree that I have a morbid view of death. And I'm okay with that.

want another piece of dirty laundry?

Just cause I feel like opening up.
I have a ridiculous habit of forgetting that I washed a load of laundry, for like 3 days. Notice I said wash, not dry. So, they sit in my washing machine for like 3 days until I go and wash another load and realize I left a load in. So, then it's all nasty and musty and smelly. So, I have to wash AGAIN, this time with some vinegar to rid the nasty smell and start all over. Why oh why can't I remember about the load in the washer? Why???